


The Weird Friends (Or, In Which Kate Is Introduced)

by cosmicocean



Series: The Adventures Of The Dumpster Buddies [3]
Category: Daredevil (TV), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, today he discovers that yes this means both hawkeyes, when it comes to most things involving hawkeye matt is a grumpy avocado
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-06
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-04-07 22:40:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4280595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicocean/pseuds/cosmicocean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’re Foggy-“ Kate points. “And you’re Matt, right?”</p><p>“That’s us.”</p><p>“Cool.” Kate turns to Matt. “You’re Daredevil, right?”</p><p>(Or where Kate meets the offices of Nelson & Murdock, Kate is not to be messed with, and the author knows entirely too much reality TV shows)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Weird Friends (Or, In Which Kate Is Introduced)

So, Clint makes weird friends.

This is just kind of a fact of life. Kate’s pretty sure that in whatever contract Clint has clearly signed with the Devil to keep him alive this long there’s a clause stating that he’s got to make friends that are weird. And random. One time Kate and Clint were walking down the street and Clint said “hey Boris” to the Russian cabbage vendor who had to be at least ninety who flipped Clint the bird in return, much to Clint’s delight.

Kate’s heard a lot about Matt Murdock and the Satan Squad, as Clint will cheerfully refer to them. Foggy is “a schmuck, but he’s an _awesome_ schmuck who has the second _Terminator_ memorized even if he makes fun of my bow”. Karen is “really sweet and nice but also actually kind of scary and may be our supreme overlady someday”. Matt is “tiny Lucy who has weird anger management problems and I know the _Hulk_ , Katie-Kate, seriously, I know what I’m talking about here”.

Kate was pretty confident that she liked them. But she hadn’t actually met them yet.

This was up until Clint was lying on his couch heavily bandaged after another run-in with the Tracksuit Mafia telling Kate insistently “you have to go talk to Matt, this involves him”.

“How?” she’d asked as Lucky sniffed at Clint’s bandages, probably checking if he was hiding food underneath them.

“Tracksuit Mafia’s teamed up with the Mustache Mafia out in Hell’s Kitchen. It’s not good, you have to go get Matt and bring him back here so we can talk strategy.”

“Yeah, you look up to strategize.”

“ _Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaatie_ …”

“I’m going. Don’t bleed out on your couch.”

“Wouldn’t dare. I like this couch.”

This is how Kate finds herself on the doorstep of Nelson & Murdock: Assholes at Law (as Clint tells Kate is the real meaning of the sign). She decided on a 50s look today. Purple dress, purple scarf tying back hair, purple drop earrings, and purple heels. She looks completely underestimatable, which suits her just fine.

She steps out of the elevator calmly. The law offices are tiny, with a pretty young woman Kate assumes is Karen sitting at a desk working on her computer. She looks up at the sight of Kate.

“Hi!” she says brightly. “Can I help you?”

“Yeah, I’m looking for Matt and Foggy. Are they here?”

Two men walked out of the rest of the offices. One of them is wearing red tinted round glasses which Kate is kind of impressed by. She imagines it’s hard to get a pair of those don’t suck.

“She’s wearing a lot of purple,” the other man tells the glasses man. “Good look, though.”

“You’re Foggy-“ Kate points. “And you’re Matt, right?”

“That’s us.”

“Cool.” Kate turns to Matt. “You’re Daredevil, right?”

Karen’s fingers stumble over her keyboard. Foggy makes a weird choking noise. Matt goes extremely still.

“I’m sorry?” Matt asks politely.

“You. You do the Daredevil thing, correct?”

“Whaaaaat.” Foggy’s laughing nervously. “How could he be Daredevil? He’s blind, miss, he can’t jump across rooftops.”

“Yeah, you’ve got the weird red radar vision thing or whatever.” Clint hasn’t explained it extremely well to Kate, mostly because Matt hasn’t apparently described it very well to Clint. He says that he gets really melodramatic and weird when he tries.

Foggy looks like he’s going to have a heart attack. Karen’s gotten up from her desk and is standing in silent backup next to Foggy. Matt takes off his glasses and wipes them on his shirt, Kate suspects solely so she can see him glaring at her.

“You’re Clint’s friend, aren’t you?” he asks. She’s a little affronted.

“Other way around. I’m too cool to _just_ be Clint’s friend.”

“Oh!” Understanding lights up Karen’s face. “You’re Kate, aren’t you? Clint talks about you a lot.”

“Is it true you put him in a headlock once?” Foggy asks.

“He deserved it.”

“He stole your bag of barbecue potato chips.”

“Yeah, like I said.” Barbecue potato chips are sacred and Clint knows that damn well.

Matt looks unimpressed. “Tell Clint he can’t go around telling everyone who I am.”

“He’s not. He’s telling me. And I’m not everyone.”

“Is Clint okay?” Karen looks worried.

“I mean. He’s _alive_.”

Matt goes still again and Kate sees a flicker of rage cross his face. “What happened?”

“Tracksuit Mafia.”

“Where is he?”

“On his couch with his dog, probably watching _Dog Cops_.”

Matt frowns. “I don’t know what that is.”

“ _Dog Cops_ is _awesome_ , dude.” Foggy grins enthusiastically before suddenly turning to Kate. “No spoilers, I don’t want to know what happens in the new one.”

“Hey, I haven’t seen it yet either.”

“Is he going to be okay?” Karen asks, bringing the conversation back around. Kate gets the feeling she does that a lot when these two and Clint are involved.

“Yeah, he’s going to be fine. Trust me. You’d know if Clint wasn’t going to be okay.” She wouldn’t even be here. She would be hunting down every single Tracksuit Mafia hiding spot that she knows about and making them suffer, consequences and no doubt personal physical injury be damned. Matt’s watching her like he knows what she’s thinking. She doubts that’s actually one of his superpowers, though.

“So what’s going on?” Matt puts his glasses back on.

“Apparently you’ve got a new mafia thing in Hell’s Kitchen that’s teamed up with our mafia.” Kate doesn’t actually _know_ what constitutes a mafia. She suspects Clint would use the word “mafia” for even a small gathering of slightly suspicious people committing activities that are just a _little_ dubious.

“I haven’t heard anything about a new mafia.”

“There’s a good chance it’s just a club of people who wish a little ill will on the world. Look, the point is, there’s something in Hell’s Kitchen that’s aligned with the Tracksuit Mafia and I’m here because I’m supposed to recruit you for a strategy meeting. You’re going to come because I’m scary, and soon because the longer Clint bleeds on that couch the more likely it is that I have to go shopping for a new one with him at IKEA.” She pushes her sunglasses up her nose. “And I _hate_ going to IKEA with Clint.” He’ll always pick out whatever’s cheapest, then bitch about the comfort level of whatever he’s purchased, and _then_ when they get a new one he mopes about how the old one was so much better. It’s an endless cycle that always includes Kate threatening to gut Clint with the boomerang arrow.

“We have a _job_ we’re doing here,” Foggy points out.

“So do I. It’s called ‘making sure Clint doesn’t do dumb shit that will kill him’. Mine is infinitely worse and you coming with me will make it much easier.” Kate taps her foot. “I’m tired, I’m hungry, I have to feed my dog and go beat up some guys with questionable fashion choices and mustaches. This isn’t up for debate.”

“I thought you said the dog was Clint’s,” Karen says. Kate waves it aside.

“His dog, my dog. It all works out in the end. Point is, Murdock, you’re coming with me. He wasn’t specific about the rest of the Satan Squad-“

“I wish he’d stop calling us that,” Matt mutters.

“I don’t,” Foggy counters.

“But he loves you guys, so you two should probably come too, if only because bickering with Foggy about some weird dumb 80s movie I haven’t seen will distract him and Karen will be able to keep him on ibuprofen cause I think he’s a little scared of her.”

“Awe,” Karen says, looking pleased.

Matt just sort of glares at Kate. It doesn’t intimidate her. She’s been on the receiving end of the Natasha Romanoff glare so no glare short of that is going to make her do anything close to yawn these days.

“Get your coat.” She readjusts her light pullover. “I’ll pay for the taxi.”

 

“Learn to lock your door, Clinton,” Kate says as she strides into Clint’s apartment, Matt, Foggy, and Karen close behind.

“Learn to knock before you enter, Katherine,” Clint shoots back from where he’s sprawled on the couch, absently itching a bandage while he flips through the channels. “I could have been doing top secret Avengers stuff.”

“I’ll be sure to let Captain America know that I am now aware of your ultra-secret-“ Kate peers at the TV. “ _Love It or List It_ plan.”

“Hey, fuck you, you’re the reason I watch this.”

“Whatever. Your Dumpster Buddy is here.”

“Dumpster Buddy?” Foggy asks delightedly.

“That’s terrible,” Matt mutters.

“I wish you’d stop calling us that,” Clint snaps.

“Stop falling into dumpsters and meeting people then.” Kate pokes Clint’s neck. He flails and falls off the couch.

“Ow.”

“Oh good, you moved. Well, now that you’re already up, Karen, Foggy, and myself will be taking the couch in order to watch _Vanilla Ice Goes Amish_ while you and Matt strategize and angst at each other.”

Clint and Matt glower at her while Foggy, Karen, and Kate settle on the couch.

“Oh hey,” she adds. “Where’s my dog?”

“ _My_ dog.”

Lucky chooses that moment to jump on top of Matt and flatten him to the ground.

“He’s very friendly,” Kate deadpans while Clint alternates between laughing and groaning at the pain the laughing is causing. “Clint, go take some more ibuprofen.”

“You’re not the boss of me.”

“Karen, tell Clint to-“

“All right, all right, I’m going.” Clint helps Matt to his feet and they shuffle off to some other part of Clint’s apartment bickering about what constitutes a mafia. Lucky pads up to the couch and jumps on top of Kate, settling in her lap. Kate pats his head.

“Good dog.”

“ _Vanilla Ice Goes Amish_?” Karen asks.

“It’s a treasure,” Kate says solemnly. “Your life will be better for having watched it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Kate, Karen, and Foggy become "Our Friends Are Idiot Superheroes" BFFs pretty much by the second Vanilla Ice Goes Amish.
> 
> It was a toss-up between Vanilla Ice Goes Amish or that show where Vanilla Ice does landscaping.
> 
> I have watched them both. And they are amazing.


End file.
